I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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