so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
