She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
