Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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