I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
