Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
