Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
