You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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