This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
