Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
