Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
