Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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