You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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