I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
