Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
