apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
