You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
