Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
