I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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