I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
