so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
