is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
