I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Will exercising make me less horny?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
