Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
