we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
