i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
