On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Randomize
