It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
