Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
