I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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