Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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