So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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