Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
