i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
