It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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