i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
