absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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