i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
