My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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