So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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