You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize