So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
