doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
