How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
