Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
