erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
