Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
