i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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