No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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