Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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