Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm too high and old for this...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
