guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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