Don't you send me to vm
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
